Soren's Shiny Hair
by Shining4Charizard
Summary: A boy with shiny hair? How does that even work? Mia wants to find out! And the consequences...? Pure hilarity! Read and leave a review!


**Author's notes: Hey, guys! Thank you all for reading and reviewing my first Fire Emblem one-shot! Today, I give you another one, this time from the Tellius series! I'd appreaciate your opinions and suggestions in a review!**

**So, here we go!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem**

**Fire Emblem: Soren's Shiny Hair**

The Greil Mercenaries, a group of people which are renowned in all of Tellius as the ones who put a stop to the Laguz-Begnion war, freed Crimea from Daein's clutches and even slayed the goddess Ashera after her apparent corruption due to her loneliness. That is to say, the Greil Mercenaries are still only humans like you and me, though with much better fighting skills. But even they have every day problems like jealousy and other stuff. How? Read and find out for yourselves!

It was one of those days at the Greil Mercenaries retreat again. Soren was standing on a hill, letting the wind blow through his dark green hair, which was silk and soft like a girl's and shiny to top it off. Needless to say, the girls in the group were incredibly jealous of him because of that and have always tried to figure out his secret, but he would never reveal it, as he would have only one reply: "B*tches, I'm fabulous". It ticked most of the (three) girls off in a sense, because their hair was not as shiny. Mia, the sword mistress, as she was called, decided to ask around for Soren's secret. She had pretty long hair herself, so it was no surprise there. In the last "Tellius' Hair Idol" Soren had in fact won the competion, followed closely by Sanaki and Elincia in third place. Mia was not even considered a finalist and, being competitive as she was, was not going to let Soren live it down. Yes, she was incredibly competitive not just in sword fighting, where here skill was only matched by Ike himself, but also in style and clothing, which is why she someday decided a red robe would fit her better than her old mercenary outfit. With that, she was in second place in the local "Crimea's best battle outfit" competition, only surpassed by Geoffrey, who won, which had been a surprise to everybody, because his armor was just like Kieran's and Oscar's, just blue. It was later speculated that he won because Elincia had been a jury member.

But back to the hairy problem at hand.

Mia decided to first ask Ike, the person Soren was closest to. "Hey, boss" she gleefully greeted.  
"What is it, Mia?" Ike greeted back with his usual sternness.

"How does Soren do his hair in the morning?"

"How should I know?" Ike was kind of taken aback by Mia's question. "And why do you care anyway? Is it because you lost 'Tellius' Hair Idol'? I didn't make it to the finals, either, remember?" That last sentence had a form of bitterness in it, even though Ike had been pretending to not caring about that.

"Pff, nah!" Mia scoffed playfully. "It's just that his hair is always so incredibly shiny and sparkling. I just wanted to know why that is, that is all"

Ike just shrugged. "As I said, I have no idea. I have enough stuff on my hands so I can't have a look at that as well"

"Okay, boss, see you later!" Mia skipped away toward the garrison to ask Shinon, who had pretty long hair himself.

"Why?" Ike breathed and at the same time, he wondered why Mia never complained about his gruff tone whenever he spoke to anyone.

"GET OUT!" Shinon yelled as he pushed Mia out of his room.  
"Geez" Mia frankly said as the door was slammed close behind her. "I didn't know he was THAT upset because of the competition…"

"Is it because of Soren's hair?" Mist, who suddenly appeared, asked.

"Yup, I want to find out how he gets it so shiny" Mia replied.

"Then, why don't you ask him yourself?" Mist shrugged.

"YOU ARE A GENIUS!" Mia shouted happily and ran off to find Soren.

"Did I… do something wrong?" Mist asked herself and went to clean the dishes.

"Soren!" the young magician heard an unpleasant sound from behind him.

"What is it, Mia?" he sighed in annoyance.

"How do you do your hair?" Mia asked eagerly.

"With this" Soren replied, hoping to get rid of the swordswoman quickly. He stuck a hand in his robe and pulled out a bottle of shampoo from it. It was labeled 'Shampoo, Shiny and Sparkling! With Conditioner'

"Uuh, can I borrow it?" Mia asked.

"Sure, go nuts" Soren did not really care.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Mia ran off with Soren's shampoo.

_Later…_

Bandits were attacking the Mercenary retreat and Ike and his men were fighting bravely. Just one was missing.

"Where's Mia?" Ike asked mid-fight.  
"I don't know!" Soren replied. "She borrowed my shampoo and hasn't returned since! I just hope she doesn't use too much, or else…"

"Or else what?" Ike's question was promptly answered by a bright light that suddenly appeared.

"MWA-HA-HA!" Mia laughed. "Bow before me, you filthy barbarians!"

Her hair was emitting bright and strong rays of light.

"AAAAGGGHHH! MY EYES!" the bandits cried and fell to the ground.

"Holy-" Ike said.

_One or two millennia later…_

"Wait, boys, I have another Einherjar card for you!" Old Hubba called out to Chrom and Robin and he handed the latter a card before vanishing.

"Okay, who do we have here…" Robin asked, studying the card. On it was the picture of a woman wielding a sword, below it was a tag saying 'Shiny and Sparkling Mia'.

"Odd" Chrom said. "Why does it say, 'shiny and sparkling'?" Robin shrugged and activated the card. A bright, blinding light emitted from it, or better from whom came out of it.  
"Shiny Mia is back!" Mia shouted and looked around. "Phew, must have been asleep for a while now. Hey guys! Who-"

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHH! MY EYES!" Robin and Chrom cried.

"Hah, still got it" Mia smiled gleefully.

**Author's notes: Well, that's it for today, folks. This is just random stuff that's not supposed to make sense. I hope you enjoyed my little skit and look forward for more!**

**Until next time!**

**- Shining4Charizard **


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